Let me hear you call my name.
 Well, we meet again. I'm Alexa, but you already know that. However, you might call me Lexi, which is cool. Like me, cool that is. I make my own friendship bracelets like it's my job. But it's not. I work at a seasonal restaurant. I have an iPhone and we all know that makes me superior or something. Oh yeah, I'm like 21 or something like that. I love photography and have a Nikon D60... which I don't use. What more could you want from me? Just read. More than words.
You know you love me, too.
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Paul's Case by Willa Cather [unfinished]
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Jeanette Winterson once wrote, “What you risk reveals what you value.” In Paul’s Case by Willa Cather, the main character Paul grows up on Cordelia Street. Feeling as if he is worth something more, he tries to abandon the predetermined lifestyle Cordelia Street has to offer, and tries to live the life he wants. He takes a risk, rather than return to Cordelia Street, that ultimately alters his life dramatically, and reveals what he truly valued in life.Paul wanted to show that he was better than everyone in his town, and that he was meant for the more upscale life. This often led to him lying or getting in trouble. He even acknowledged that lying was “indispensable for overcoming friction.” (107) When he was appearing in front of the faculty of his school to explain why he wanted to return from his suspension, the faculty noted that there was something “dandy” about him. (107) Though they were old and worn, he tried to dress up his common clothes with an opal pin on his tie and a red carnation in his buttonhole. The faculty however, disapproved of his red carnation and shrug; they felt as if Paul was mocking them. Paul often managed to alienate himself with his condescending attitude. However, he found his place at Carnegie Hall working as an usher. He was excited to work there and to wear the uniform. He was described as a “model usher; gracious and smiling he ran up and down the aisles; nothing was too much trouble for him; he carried messages and brought programmes as though it were his greatest pleasure in life, and all the people in his section thought him a charming boy.” (109) He felt as if he belonged in the atmosphere of the theater, and anyone who had season tickets could share in his love. When his English teacher appeared at the Hall, he felt as though he wanted to kick her out. He asked himself, “What business does she have here among all of these fine people and gay colors?” (109) After one concert, Paul follows the star singer to one of the finer hotels in town. He follows behind her up until the front doors where he stops himself; he knows he cannot follow her into the hotel. He imagines that he has entered with her through the ajar door. He imagined he was able to follow behind her up the stairs, into the warm, well-lit building; he imagined himself in a world that he described as “exotic, a tropical world of shiny, glistening surfaces.” (110) As he is staring up into the singer’s window, a gust of wind brings shivering rain, and Paul is reminded of the great divide of reality and what he thinks will bring him happiness. Paul, now drenched, returns to the house that he lives in. He doesn’t feel as if he belongs there and the closer he got to his house, the more unequal he felt to it. He thought of the house and “his ugly sleeping chamber; the cold bathroom with the grimy zinc tub, the cracked mirror, [and] the dripping spigots.” (111) Because he does not want to answer to his father that would be waiting up for him, he snuck into the basement; he prayed that his father had heard him and would accidentally shoot him thinking he was a robber. He thought of the simplicity of not having to worry about being sucked into Cordelia Street if his father had killed him. |
Goodbye.
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