Let me hear you call my name.
 Well, we meet again. I'm Alexa, but you already know that. However, you might call me Lexi, which is cool. Like me, cool that is. I make my own friendship bracelets like it's my job. But it's not. I work at a seasonal restaurant. I have an iPhone and we all know that makes me superior or something. Oh yeah, I'm like 21 or something like that. I love photography and have a Nikon D60... which I don't use. What more could you want from me? Just read. More than words.
You know you love me, too.
Layout is by Cia: (Blog | Acc)Icons/banners are from: Stopthetime / Reviviscent respectively. Links inspiration are from: Alissa. xoxo |
Streaming
Sunday, April 5, 2009
 So I'm really happy. I did my hair and it actually looks REALLY good. I love when something works out after I worked so hard on it. It makes me feel so good about myself. Even if this only my hair, its something knew that I have learned, and I'm going to hold onto it. I just like knowing things, and learning how to do them. I just feel very accomplished. So I've spent my entire day watching America's Next Top Model cycle 2. There was only one break when I went to CVS to go and get candy for my kid, and hairspray. And to do my hair, lol. I'm so upset I have school this week, but I think I can get out  of church on wednesday if we don't have a game. If we do, though well then I have to sit through all of it. I really hope I don't have to.So I have my photography due tomorrow and for once, I'm not going to be running around like crazy to finish anything. It's really relaxing and you know, stuff like that. I just, I don't want to do any more work. I feel like I'm done already, but I know that I can't give up now. I just wish I could so badly. I would just love to sit and relax and not have to worry about anything any more. Unfortunately, I am very aware that I'm going to be working for the rest of my life. It sort of makes me sad that I've worked for so long and I'm never going to get a break. I mean think about it. You're working since your five. I mean, I'm not  saying that it hasn't been fun or whatever, but it's still been constant work. We're constantly moving.I've never had a chance to breathe. I want that chance more than anything. I feel like I'm always gasping for air, but never really getting enough. Like my blood is deprived of essential oxygen. It makes me a little depressed. It's true when I say that I'm never going to be able to rest until the day I die, until my last breath escapes me. I wish I could slow down time, to prolong the inevitable. Meditating isn't the answer for me; I want to freeze time. I don't want to be young forever though. I want to live life out and not be stuck in the past. I want to live in the present, and only slightly plan for the future. I think next year in college, and even this summer I'm just going to let loose. I'm going to do my work, I'm going to go to work, but I am going to be and do whatever pleases me. I know Mike will support me through whatever I do, and I don't feel like he weighs me down. In fact, I know he wants me to be happy and to find myself. I know that I'm going to grow up so much, and change so much but I know he's going to be there. Always. I never want to be without him. I'm scared of really long-term commitment, but I want to be with him for a really long, long time if not forever. And he makes me so complete. I think we'll be okay. I know some people will doubt that we can make it; I know my parents are a couple of those people. I don't think my mom believes that we will make it. But you know what, it doesn't matter what she thinks.  Either way, I'm just going to take it day by day with him. I know that tomorrow I will love him, and the day after that. I'm not worried about anything happening to us. I know I'm going to enjoy my time spent with him.Wow. This blog was stream of consciousness. I hope it all makes sense, but quite honestly, I don't always make sense in my own head. So sometimes its hard to translate it into anything BUT nonsense. Haha. I don't know. I can't wait for this year to end though. I can't wait to graduate. I'm going to go now, though. So I'll write more soon. xoxo |
Goodbye.
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