Let me hear you call my name.
 Well, we meet again. I'm Alexa, but you already know that. However, you might call me Lexi, which is cool. Like me, cool that is. I make my own friendship bracelets like it's my job. But it's not. I work at a seasonal restaurant. I have an iPhone and we all know that makes me superior or something. Oh yeah, I'm like 21 or something like that. I love photography and have a Nikon D60... which I don't use. What more could you want from me? Just read. More than words.
You know you love me, too.
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Annoyed
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
 Annoyed is the perfect word, you can get away with a lot because generally people ask "are you mad?" And so when you don't want to say you are (don't want to lie), just go with the word "annoyed" and repeat it in your head. It helps, it makes you believe you're not mad at anything, only simply irked by a thought. Its especially good when dealing with significant others that you know will blow a gasket that you're mad at something. Even if you're feelings are totally uncalled for and you know that they are unjust and without actual cause, calling yourself annoyed works a million times better when avoiding the truth of being "mad." Like, when your boy/girlfriend is turning 21 this year so ALL of their friends are turning 21 and so OF COURSE they're going to go out to a bar because they have their siblings/a fake ID and you naturally get 1.) jealous of the best/friend 2.) mad when they drink without you in their presence, annoyed works so much better. Because they will almost always ask "are you mad?" So you have already CONVINCED yourself you're just annoyed. Yeah. It's. SO. Much. Better. Honestly. So I will be repeating the word "annoyed" in my head this whole night while I fucking clean the pigstye that is my room. Maybe I'll try and even convince myself that I'm not "annoyed" and merely getting caught up in a movie, or an episode of House that I will hunt down on my computer. Maybe I'll get lost in writing something, or even doing homework. Oh. Wait. I just DID all my homework through grit teeth because I am "annoyed." Ughhhh. I shouldn't be "annoyed" right now. My own significant other has every right to be out with his best friend on his 21st birthday. So prey tell, why the fuck am I "annoyed." I know the facts, the facts are straight, I TRUST my boyfriend, I know that he just wants to have fun, so why am I getting "annoyed." He should be allowed out, he obviously doesn't have to spend every waking moment with me (I'd shoot him too if I was constantly around him), so why? Why must I get "annoyed" when he goes out with Jake? Why must I get jealous? Oh yes, by the way, I'm horribly jealous of Jake. So jealous, I almost want to cry or scream out in frustration when I think about it. I'm the girlfriend, I take first seat in his life. Jake takes second. Okay. System works out great, so why do I feel like I compete when I obviously don't? Are these feelings going to pass, am I ever not going to be "annoyed?" I wish I had the answers to these here questions, but until I do I remain "annoyed" and I will say good night so I don't wait around for a text message that will never come because God FORBID he remember his phone exists. I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed x100000000 Yeah, I need a new method. And I don't know why the fuck I make such a big deal. Why? Am I immature? Am I needy? What the fuck is it? Am I selfish? Maybe it's all of the above. |
Goodbye.
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